loveedition | starsand // starnet DM / open post

[She's right. He doesn't necessarily like hearing that. But not because it makes him angry at her or frustrated that she didn't give that answer when he had asked. It worries him. He doesn't like hearing that Ryoko is seeking something so sad.

Yuuto pauses his task. His power can handle it for a moment anyway, while he steps closer and gently places his hands on her shoulders. If only for a moment, so as to show her that she's his top concern and that he wants to help ground her.]

I see. That sounds really scary. Having everything creep up at you at once sounds really overwhelming...

Do you have any ideas for other ways to deal with that?

...well...

[ It was something she was half mulling over at the time. She was thinking about it, as if it were some way to at least talk to herself for a bit... ]

Someone else suggested maybe starting a journal. Something so I can at least get my thoughts out somewhere, and be able to look at things later on.

[ Incidentally.

She realizes. It might be time to send a certain somebody another care package. ]

That sounds like a great idea, mm. Then you can slowly get it out of your head.

[Yuuto lets the meal serve itself behind them while they talk.]

I’m happy for you, Ryoko. That must not have been an easy thing to realize… and now you can take the steps to look after yourself.

Yeah. I mean...

[ She glances down at the floor. Stomach churning a bit. ]

I guess...

It's... kind of the same problem you said you have.

[…]

S-So um!!! Your oden is ready! Uh sit down and I’ll serve you right away!

H-hey! I'm in the middle of a breakthrough here?!

[ Yuuto, you...! Ugh, you're lucky that she won't let oden be disrespected in this house. She'll go and sit down then, kind of pouting. ]

R-Right sorry uh!!!

[He takes his seat, but the belt tail of him is turned at all kinds of anxious angles. Yuuto doesn’t want this to turn towards him. He wants to focus on Ryoko!!!]

C, continue. I’m listening!!

Then please, listen.

[ Even as she sits down and looks at the oden, which... that does look really good, actually--

She knows that they'll keep avoiding their issues if she doesn't say anything. ]

...I made a wish to know that my best friend would be happy without me protecting her. I made it because I was scared of leaving her, even though she had someone else by her side already. That's when my life came to an end as it was.

Even so... about a year into being a magi, I had a dream. It felt really odd, like it lasted an entire year, but I was back home. I went through my third year of high school with her and her boyfriend, I told her I was leaving, and it made her upset. It was because despite everything, I hadn't considered that she'd miss me when I was gone. When I woke up, it felt like an entire year had passed, but it had only been a week. I woke up to find Aisaka-san crying, upset that I had been gone... because she missed me.

[ She plucks at the oden prepared for her, surprisingly... not tearing up. Maybe she's all cried out for the time being. ]

I had thought... how could I do that? I had no control over it the second time, but how could I have left my friend for a full year, knowing that she would have missed me? How can I consider myself a kind person if I had abandoned my best friend when she needed me the most? For the sake of a group that I was certain I was getting in the way of. That had to stop countless times to save me from myself.

...

[ Ryoko sighs. Her heart feels heavy. ]

If we throw all of our heart at others... then we won't recognize when we're crumbling until it's too late. We'll forget ourselves, and wind up hurting the ones who care about us. But taking all of that time to beat ourselves up isn't good either. So maybe... it's okay to be selfless sometimes, and maybe it's okay to be selfless for completely selfish reasons.

I wanted Fauna to feel loved, because that would make her happy and would make me feel like I was helping her. I don't want Aisaka-san to be alone, because she'd be miserable otherwise and I'd feel responsible for it. [ A small, hesitant pause... ] Even helping you has been kind of self serving. I didn't want you to disappear for Akutagawa-san and Inaba-san's sake... but also because, I didn't want to lose my friend either. I still don't. I just thought, their needs outweighed mine completely.

So maybe it's... best that I focus on myself for a while. Try to figure out what I can do for myself. What really does make me happy, for me.

[ ...... ]

Aaaaah, I'm trying to say that I'm forgiving myself for this mess! Sorry, sorry, I'll forgive myself for that, but not if your oden gets cold...!

[ She needs to start eating like, now?! ]

[Yuuto listens attentively… and, while she talks, he does use his power to preserve the heat of the oden. Hearing her reach this conclusion leaves him feeling strangely at peace. It’s like a weight has been lifted for him too, because he doesn’t have to worry about her as much anymore. Ryoko has figured out how to help herself. She’s going to be more selfish and she’s going to healthier and safer than before.

Even when she panics and apologizes about not eating, Yuuto doesn’t touch his own small serving. He can’t take his eyes off of her yet.]

Ryoko… I’m so glad. I’m so glad that you figured that out.

Thank goodness… You finally accepted your apology.

[He lifts his spoon, finally sampling the broth and laughing softly now that her reaction registers.]

Do you have any idea how you want to start?

Mm... not yet. I guess for now, just try to catch up on sleep? I don't need to look for Nightmares, I know they're not here...

...I think most of it is just... I need to think about what I want to do in the future.

Mm-mm. Maybe you can use one of those aromatherapy oils to make sleeping more relaxing..? And since there are no Nightmares here, you could pick up some new hobbies?

[Yuuto is beginning to relax again, especially since he hopes it will be contagious.]

And most of all... You can relax! You need it, Ryoko.

Well, I could go back to volunteering at the library? I had started telling magical girl stories there for a little bit. That's still kinda relaxing to me.

[ She knows she needs it. Problem being... she really, doesn't know how. ]

I know. Um... I can check with Ushio to see what she'd suggest for relaxing too? And see where I can get some of those oils....

[ She's trying to think up so many things already, but figuring out one was the tricky part. ]

Ah, that's right! Ushio-san is your age.

[She would know more about what people Ryoko's age do to relax, wouldn't she? Yuuto won't mention the other barriers that prevent him from fully understanding.]

I'm sure that the spirits would appreciate that. Shugo-san too. He acts tough, but I think he gets lonely at the library all by himself.

Mm. She's a lot better at being outgoing than I am, so I really should.

...Oh! You know, I should do that soon then! Maybe I can come up with special stories for this month?

I’ve only met her once, but she did seem really outgoing. I wonder where she gets all of that energy?

[Yuuto laughs softly. It feels good to see Ryoko like this. He’s almost forgotten to eat his share of the meal, because he’s so caught up in admiring how much lighter Ryoko looks.]

Like spooky test of courage stories?

A-Ahaha, maybe. I'm not too good at spooky stories.

...

[ man hand hook hand car door. ]

Actually, I think I can do better than others. I can have Leona-chan fight ghosts for a little bit.

[ Yes, her protagonist is named Leona-chan. ]

…

[Taiga Aisaka and Leona, huh?

Yuuto’s smile fades and he stares straight at Ryoko.]

Leona Aisaka-san is the name of your heroine?

I haven't really thought up a last name ye--

[ ...Oh.

Oh, he's making fun of her, isn't he. ]

L-Look, they're based off of things that actually happened?! I can't just use real names!

[Yuuto laughs a bit and recovers his smile.]

Eh~ I see! That makes total sense!

What kind of name does Ryoko have in her own stories?

... [ &*^$%*@ ]

...Leona-chan's partner's name is Reiko-chan.

Is that so? Then I’ll be a Reiko-chan, uh… What’s the word that the hip kids use these days..?

Reiko-chan’s… otaku?

[ yuuto. why. ]

T-That, you don't have to be?! Reiko-chan's more of a sidekick during these adventures anyway!

Something tells me that she’s more my type anyway. I’ll have to, uh. Buy merch?

[He leans forward on his elbows, smile becoming a bit devious. Yuuto hasn’t shown this side of himself in a long time. As much as he’s afraid of rejection, Yuuto is happy to share more of his true self with Ryoko. He trusts her.]

Reiko-chan is always supporting her friends, but you know… I think it might be time for her to be the main character in her own story.

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