starsand // starnet DM / open post

[loveedition]

@OdenLove

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starnet > outgoing to Starlight

[loveedition]

Hey, Yuuto-kun. Sorry for leaving early, I'm feeling better now. Are you doing okay?

[spacialeyes]

[It’s a mystery how Yuuto keeps any secrets when his response is:]

Asakura-chan? It’s okay. I’m glad you’re doing better.

Mm, it’s alright.

I’m not allowed to be okay right now.

[loveedition]

[ What the hell. ]

Don't say that. I know things seem bad right now, but I'm willing to do what I can to help out.

[spacialeyes]

Oh…

No, it’s not about that. I think I’ll be okay whatever happens with that.

But I think that I might have hurt someone’s feelings. Or..

At least, not been able to help them. I might have made them feel worse.

[loveedition]

Oh.

...um. That wasn't on purpose, right? Like, you didn't mean to hurt their feelings?

[spacialeyes]

I didn’t think that I did?

But I’ve been hurting a lot of people lately.

… Im sorry. Im doing it again. Did you get some rest?

[loveedition]

I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me, I always bounce back.

If you didn't mean it, the best thing to do is give them a couple days. You should be able to go to them and talk it out after that, once you've both had a chance to cool down.

I mean, as long as you don't move too strongly.

[spacialeyes]

[This is one of those times when Yuuto feels very small and useless, despite his position and power. He’s never had friends, so he’s never been able to fight.]

Usually when I have an argument, I just let them win. It’s easier.

But I don’t know if I can change my mind on this.

Does that mean I’m being aggressive? Have I turned into a bully?

I don’t want to bully her.

[loveedition]

You don't become a bully just by standing up for how you feel. At the same time, it's not good to be a pushover either.

Have you tried looking at it from her perspective? Why what you said might've been hurtful?

[spacialeyes]

But what if she hates me forever..? I don’t want that…

Mmm.

I wanted to know why she was so upset, but she wouldn’t talk to me about it.

[loveedition]

I'm positive she doesn't hate you.

Maybe she just needs time to herself? Maybe you can try again tomorrow.

[spacialeyes]

But I need to give her dinner tonight. What if she doesn’t want it because it’s from me?

Hey.

Asakura-chan? Are you busy?

[loveedition]

[ Give her dinner...

Ah. That's who it is. ]

Not at all. Need me to bring her something?

[spacialeyes]

I made her something for dinner but

She might be unhappy to see me.

I mean! Not that Inaba is who I’m fighting just

I love her so

[loveedition]

Yuuto-kun. It's not the end of the world. Couples have disagreements all the time, it doesn't mean she hates you. I'm sure Inaba-san's just stressed out.

If you think it'd help, I'd be okay with bringing her whatever you made.

I mean, if that's who we're talking about. Maybe there's another girl you made mad.

[spacialeyes]

Do they? So we’ll be okay?

I don’t want for her to hate me. I know I said I was okay with unrequited love but

[Yuuto feels selfish for not wanting that anymore.]

Um.

I don’t think so…

Wait. Fauna-chan said she’d kick me in the shins. Maybe I should make her something too.

But Inaba first… if that’s okay… I have the food right here. I just don’t want her to be mad if I send it.

[loveedition]

Leave Fauna to me, I'll figure that out. Also, I was joking.

[ Mountains out of molehills, this guy. ]

But yes, they do. I don't know her that well, but she doesn't strike me as someone who would just decide to turn and hate someone on a dime like that.

If you want, I can talk to her too.

[spacialeyes]

But you’re not the one she’s mad at?

I’d appreciate that. Bringing her food.

But I don’t know if she’d want to talk about it. Maybe if she brings it up on her own?

I don’t know.

I can’t tell if I should respect her space or push more. I’ve never had friends before. Usually if I get in an argument, it’s better to let it go.

[loveedition]

Don't push her. You absolutely should respect her space.

I plan to ask, but if she doesn't want to talk to me about it, that's fine. I can't force her to open up. The best thing I can do is let her know that the option is there.

I can stop by soon, either way. And, even if Fauna isn't mad at me, I get the feeling she's not mad at you either, so I'll clear that up.

[spacialeyes]

So I’m supposed to leave her alone to think awful things about herself? I don’t want that either.

I’d rather she hated me than thought poorly of herself.

She’s so important. I want her to know that…

I want to make a cake for Fauna-chan. I don’t want her to be angry. She has enough to be angry about.

[loveedition]

[ Something about that rubs her the wrong way. She can tell that it's just how Yuuto is, but it's still frustrating.

Because, she'd say the same thing about someone she cares about. ]

You can't make that choice for her.

People handle that kind of thing in different ways. For all the ways I hate myself, it would make me feel worse if I brought someone down with me. I don't like having anyone worry about me, because I feel like I'm slowing them down either.

Inaba-san just needs some time. If she wants encouragement, then give it to her, but you can't force it on her. Cheer her on quietly and then when she wants, be as vocal as you can.

And don't act like your feelings aren't valid too. If you think making her hate you will make you or her feel better, you're wrong.

[spacialeyes]

I’m already down here with you.

Inaba and you and Fauna-chan and everyone. I’m here with you, because I love you. I don’t want to go anywhere.

But I might not have the time to worry slowly. And when I’m told I’m wrong I

Is my love wrong? Am I doing this wrong?

[loveedition]

[ There's a brief delay. She doesn't know if she wants to go down this route, but at the same time... he needs to understand. ]

A while ago, I got in a fight with my best friend. It wasn't so much a fight as it was... I had been brainwashed into thinking she was a monster trying to attack me, and I cut her arm. In return, I let her smash my arm with her bokken. It hurt, but it didn't hurt as much as realizing what I had done to her.

I had to give her time. Just a little bit, and even when we spoke again and just cried at each other... I thought she had decided she had enough of me babying her and turning around to betray her trust, and she thought that I hated her for some reason.

Yuuto-kun, if you love someone, just... trust them. Trust that they know what they're doing. I know you want to protect Inaba-san no matter what, but if you try to hold onto her too closely, she'll want to get away.

You're okay to love her. You're okay to love me, or Fauna. I just need you to trust us. We trust you.

[ A couple moments of OdenLove is typing... ]

Sorry. I don't want to lecture you, I just want you to understand that sometimes, the person you love just needs a little space. You didn't do anything wrong.

[spacialeyes]

I don’t want to baby her. Inaba doesn’t need that from me. She doesn’t want me near her right now either.

Can you still bring her dinner? I said I’d make something. Should I not say it’s from me? Is that too much? I don’t know.

I’m so worried. Knowing she’s all alone with such sad thoughts is so scary.

[loveedition]

[ ...this is just gonna keep going in circles, huh.

Well, here's intentionally throwing the argument in action. ]

Right, right.

I'll be over soon. I think it's fine to tell her it's from you...

And I'll try to talk to her.