starsand // starnet DM / open post

[loveedition]

@OdenLove

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[loveedition]

[ Okay, this is fine. She can do this. Deep breath. ]

...something light, maybe? Uh, although, I could make tonkatsu. I'm not super hungry, so if you're okay with that....

[preparade]

Ooooh, tonkatsu sounds yummy right now! It’s not too much work though, right? I’m still pretty tired, but I’m not the one who’s been going out in the rain…

[ aka: she’s worried about you still, but doesn’t want to nag. ]

I’ll eat anything you wanna!

[loveedition]

It's...

It's no problem at all. I think I'm done going out for the day, so...

[ There isn't really a reason to head outside. She does stare down at the soup she received... she should have this. So then, chicken soup for herself, tonkatsu for Taiga.

...her voice is a bit sullen, but she tries to rise back to it. ]

Oh, right-- let me know if you need help with your hair. I can... I can help...

[ The way her voice trails off at the end, probably the dead giveaway. ]

[preparade]

…

[ taiga tries not to let her gaze linger too long on ryoko, since it’s almost painfully obvious that there’s something on her mind. she tries to keep her own voice energetic, but… taiga’s also pretty bad at that. ]

Hmmm… I think I can make lunch for myself, actually. We’ve got miso and rice, that should be fine!

I wanna keep my hair like this for a bit, so maybe later.

[loveedition]

No, really, it's no problem. I...

[ ...she knows Taiga is trying to lessen the load, but none of that sounds like a good idea.

Ryoko decides to find a place to set the soup down, and head towards Taiga. ]

At least let me fix your hair...

[preparade]

I said the food wasn’t a problem first, okay? I’ll chase you out of the kitchen if I need to.

…Did I really do such a bad job on my hair?

[ she won’t try to stop ryoko from messing with her hair, but… she had been kinda proud of her attempts, even if they were far from perfect. ]

[loveedition]

[ Ryoko considered protesting, but... then, the reality hit her. Taiga did ask what they should have, not what Ryoko would be making. She had worked on her hair buns, and even if they weren't perfect... she didn't ask Ryoko to fix them.

...it was as Taiga asked her, in the Facility.

Why is she always like this? ]

No, sorry. It's nothing. You did a good job.

[ This wasn't good. She had to keep her composure, she was already mildly worrying her. Just smile and keep going... ]

I... I'll go wash my face. It's probably gross.

[ Head to the bathroom, don't make eye contact-- ]

[preparade]

[ taiga sighs. how long should she let this keep going? it’s clear enough that something happened and ryoko is upset, but is it even something ryoko wants to talk about? the thought of sitting around watching ryoko mope is incredibly unappealing, on the other hand. ]

I think your face looks fine… And it’s not even night time yet…

Either way, if you’re in there for more than 5 minutes, I’m gonna bust down the door.

[loveedition]

[ Before she even makes it in, she stops in the doorway. Back towards Taiga. ]

...what do you mean?

[preparade]

Um…

[ wow, this one is hard to walk back from. ]

I-I… Something happened, right?

[loveedition]

[ Ryoko doesn't move. It's a good... ten seconds. She doesn't turn around, shaking her head. ]

Nothing happened. It's... nothing.

[preparade]

Ryoko.

[ she sighs… ]

Just… come back out here afterwards, okay?

[loveedition]

Thank you.

[ Ugh. She doesn't deserve this kindness from Taiga. Would she be this kind if something was clearly wrong with Taiga...

She makes it through the doorway, places her hand on the door... and then, she pauses. What was wrong with her? In the long run of things, she was okay.

She would continue on, starting her own preparations for the community center, even if she's not sure if she could look the person running it in the face.

She would continue on, trying to figure out the best way to ease Fauna's mind, to make things right there again.

She would continue on, trying to do her own research. Trying to figure out how to fight back against distortions, how to save her friends-- her friend.

...she could continue on.

And instantly, the stress of four full days of working, worrying, surviving hit her like a truck. Even if she continues, it won't amount to anything.

Ryoko covers her face, sinking down to the floor and doesn't even come close to hiding her sobs. She's exhausted. She's tired.

What did she even do the past couple of days? ]

[preparade]

[ taiga was a liar.

she doesn’t give ryoko five minutes. the sounds of her sobs were too much for her to pretend to ignore for five minutes. barely a minute passes before she stands up and quietly follows after ryoko.

just as quietly, taiga kneels down to the bathroom floor and wraps her arms around ryoko. she’s not really sure what there was to say that would help, but… of all people, taiga knows how much it sucks to cry by yourself. ]

[loveedition]

[ She couldn't even close the door--

It felt unfair. After all, she was the one that worried Taiga so badly that she wound up crying. Ryoko went to someone who loved her to talk about her worries with the girlfriend she broke up with her for. What gave her the right to cry about this?

These were all problems she created-- why the hell was she crying? ]

I...

[ She buries her face into Taiga's tiny shoulder, letting herself otherwise just... be held. ]

[preparade]

[ things had been so stressful. taiga doesn’t even know all of what happened in the facility, but their experiences together were bad enough. whatever ryoko was carrying had to be so heavy, and she was always being the supporting rock for taiga.

taiga holds ryoko tightly, so she won’t feel like she’s alone. she’s not going to try and push ryoko to talk, it’s fine to just cry. she can cry for as long as she needs, and taiga will be right there. ]

Hey… it’s okay.

[loveedition]

It's not--

[ Everything inside of her felt twisted and bitter and she hated it. How much more did she have to do before something she did mattered?

Why does it only go in the wrong direction? ]

Taiga... Taiga, please...

[ Her words are shaky, but this had to be where everything started. The person she met first, who thought she was alone in the world and unloved. ]

Please... don't hate Fauna... please, I don't want you two to fight... I want both of you to have someone else to depend on, if anything else happens to me...

1/2

[preparade]

W-wait, what—?

[ her response is a gut reflex. why would she hate fauna, she almost says next. but… taiga KNOWS why she should hate fauna, and should direct some of that towards ryoko as well. that’s what she was supposed to feel, and to a degree there’s truth to it. it’s a messy situation out of a manga plot that would take an entire volume to resolve. ]

[preparade]

I don’t hate her. I…

[ she can’t help the rumble of annoyance in her sigh. but she also doesn’t let it stop her from continuing. ]

It’s not like I wasn’t mad. She knew that. But… did she tell you when she told me? I don’t think she could’ve picked a worse time, a-and I just…

Why the fuck would something like that matter when we were trying to find out what happened, and where you were? I was putting all my effort into that, because if I thought about anything else I know I would’ve just… fallen apart.

We’re not fighting.

[loveedition]

...I had a feeling that was the case, so I wanted to be sure. She... did tell me when, and I couldn't believe it. Honestly... yesterday, I wound up having to tell her not to settle for you punching her.

I just...

[ Her mind casts back to Ariel. ]

I know... you don't want to be apart from me. But if anything ever happened to you because of me... I couldn't handle that either. I don't want your entire world to revolve around me.

That's... that's why I want this behind us. So that if we're apart, even for a little bit, you'll still have someone to count on. If not her, then someone else-- Ushio, or Tap, or Yoisaki-san and her friend, or Rokudo-kun.

I'd fight through anything to get back to you, but... just in case. Please, don't throw everything away for me again...

[preparade]

If she wants to be punched that badly I can, but there's no point to it.

[ And then Taiga falls silent. She knows she shouldn't feel annoyed, but something about how Ryoko was wording things feels like a thorn in her side. It's no surprise that, after literally watching the world crumble in front of you, someone would be affected by that. They can't be expected to act like it didn't happen, and it's only natural that they should both be... accommodating of that.

So you'd rather I left you in the Facility?

Is this your way of telling me to back off?

What do you mean, throw everything away again?

She can't say any of that, and she knows well enough that she wouldn't mean any of it if she did. It's not the point. Taiga's not even supposed to be the one who's upset, but it does bother her more than she cared to admit. ]

I-It's fine... I'm not gonna do anything stupid.

[loveedition]

[ Nodding, Ryoko slowly wraps an arm around Taiga, sniffling. It wasn't right to dump all of her feelings onto Taiga like that, relationship or not. But if they didn't come out... ]

...sorry...

S'not fair to you...

[preparade]

[ Taiga smooths down Ryoko's hair, trying to calm her down further. ]

...This whole thing hasn't been fair to anyone. We've all been through hell, and then we got dumped back here like nothing happened.

[loveedition]

Mmmn...

[ The sad fact was, it should feel like nothing happened. It almost does. But one thing did happen, and she should be happy about it. Instead, words kept filling her head to bring her back down to Earth.

The idea of relying on one person, in the entire world...

...

It was nicer to think about, when she was a kid. Now, it broke her heart. ]

I... I need to make things better...

[preparade]

Ryoko.

[ Always trying to stay busy, even when it was the last thing she should be. ]

If there's anything you need to do, it's to rest. I can't stop you, but I will get angry if you keep running yourself into the ground like this.