It's not long at all before Ryoko is at the door. She was definitely worried at hearing that Madoka wasn't around, and... Nanami-san had left at some point? Ugh. She really needed to keep better track of that. Either way, once he knocks, she's right there to open.
Sollux hurries inside without any hesitation. He only manages to relax once the door's been closed. He hears he words, but doesn't move at first. He simply stands in the doorway trying to catch his breath. It's only once his hearts returned to a normal pace that he looks for the table and moves to sit.
Madoka's given him tea before. He never really cared for it, but it wasn't like the tea was the reason for his visit. Madoka, he tries not to think about her, but with how shitty everything has seemed lately it's hard not to. He rests his arms on the table, hiding his head in his arms. Chiaki was gone too. The other him. Everyone he cared about disappearing one by one. Ryoko was probably next. He lets out a shaky breath, trying to force himself to calm down.
Ryoko stays by the door momentarily, watching the way he rushes around and the way he stands, looking uneasy the entire way through. Ryoko still manages to follow behind him, before passing him by for her kitchen. Once she gets there, she peeks in momentarily.
Sollux looked so out of sorts, just as bad as she thought. No, even worse than that. It was hard for him, wasn't it? The worst thing was... Ryoko didn't really know how hard it was to lose someone like that. As much as she liked Chiaki Nanami, she wasn't particularly close to her. And Madoka... no, she had a feeling, Madoka would come back. She's pretty sure she's seen her around in the first place, but she hadn't gotten a chance to talk to her. Maybe it was her imagination?
Of everyone that she's spoken to, no one had really left to leave that big of an impression on her. Though she had definitely spoken to those who she felt sad over, it never had the effect on her that it had on Sollux, or anyone else she knew. But... it wasn't like it didn't take much to make her think about how it would feel.
Basically... how she felt for a while already. Only worse, probably.
It's not long before Ryoko comes back with a tray and two cups, with a bit of sugar close by too in case he wants some. She sets it down and kneels, before pouring Sollux a cup of chamomile tea and setting it in front of him.
"Here. I'm not a tea specialist or anything, but this much I can do for you."
He doesn't look at her, but lifts his head to look at the tea when she comes back. He's a troll, his skin is always ashen, dark bags under his eyes are a constant, still it's clear he's a wreck. To humans he probably always looked bad, but now he looked worse. He reaches for the cup, moving it closer. The warmth of the water heats the cup and his hand. It's nice, it's a distraction. The color is different than the tea he's had in the past. He takes in these details, letting the useless observations override his own grim thoughts. It was easier to study the design on the cup than it was to focus on his current circumstances.
Now that he's here he doesn't know what to say, he just didn't want to be alone. As pathetic as he felt admitting it, it was better to feel pathetic here with Ryoko than it was to be scared and alone at his hive. He felt as though he owed her an explanation, though he realizes she might feel as though she'd already gotten one. He sighs.
"I ran here. Whenever I go outside I feel like I'm going to die. So I just run now."
Ugh. She hated hearing him talking like that, even though she doesn't say that. Ryoko knows that's completely irrational, but given how bad everything turned out and how tense it had been, even after her attempt to bring everyone together just a little bit, it didn't feel safe yet.
It was getting to be easier for her, but she was trying to push her own bad thoughts out of her head.
"Sorry. Maybe I should've met you at your place first."
"No... I didn't want to stay there any more than I had to." He brings the cup tentatively to his lips, blowing on the water to cool it faster. "It keeps making fake versions of my dead friends."
He's sick of talking to the dead. At least, he knows he shouldn't be. It felt wrong to take comfort in words your friend's had never really said. As much as he wanted comfort, he couldn't let himself get it like that. He sets the cup down again. Still not looking at Ryoko.
It wasn't comforting, that's why. It was more like trying to cheer yourself up using words you thought would work. In the end, they were platitudes from ghosts in your head, and how could those work?
As if seeing a certain someone look up from the game in their hands to say 'it's okay' would help. It's not the same.
Ryoko just glances down at her tea, awkwardly feeling despondent until he asks the question. That much, she knew she could do.
"Of course you can. My door is always open for friends to stay. I can grab another blanket and try to drum up a bed for you to sleep on."
He slumps down again. He was right, talking about stuff like this to Ryoko, asking for a place to stay, it just made him a burden. He was so weak. Pathetic.
"Thanks." he takes a sip of his tea, trying to ignore everything he's feeling. At least here anyone who offered comfort would be real.
Ryoko went to drink from her tea, and then stopped at the sight of Sollux's face, still looking distressed and... overall, sad.
She doesn't really know what to do. She places the tea back onto the table, sighing slightly before reaching forward to slowly... carefully, gingerly as if she were getting ready to touch hot coal, place a hand right on the top of Sollux's head.
"It's okay, really. Sollux... these things take time to heal from. I just want you to take as much time as you need. I'll be here to help, and I'm not going anywhere."
Sollux looks up to her in surprise at feeling her touch. The eye contact is short lived and it's not long before he's looking away again. He seems even more upset than before somehow. He knows healing takes time, but it felt like things never really would heal. He felt trapped.
"You don't know that."
He puts the tea cup down, his hands clasping together in front of him.
"You could be next."
Who would he have left? Maybe it would be better if they left, than his weakness wouldn't bother them.
Her hand retracted, faintly hovering above him before she pulls it back towards her. Truth be told, she didn't know. She felt like she'd be stuck here forever, that she wasn't lucky enough to go back. After all, how could she? She still couldn't face Nagato-san after everything she's done, and even worse, she knows she can't just leave Taiga and Sollux alone.
"She... she'll be back. I know it."
As if she's trying to reaffirm it to herself.
"She's... too important to leave. Kyuubey wouldn't let her."
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And I saw her again today and I don't know where else to go.
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Do you want to come over here? I can make tea.
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Yeah. Okay
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"Come on in. Have a seat at the table, okay?"
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Madoka's given him tea before. He never really cared for it, but it wasn't like the tea was the reason for his visit. Madoka, he tries not to think about her, but with how shitty everything has seemed lately it's hard not to. He rests his arms on the table, hiding his head in his arms. Chiaki was gone too. The other him. Everyone he cared about disappearing one by one. Ryoko was probably next. He lets out a shaky breath, trying to force himself to calm down.
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Sollux looked so out of sorts, just as bad as she thought. No, even worse than that. It was hard for him, wasn't it? The worst thing was... Ryoko didn't really know how hard it was to lose someone like that. As much as she liked Chiaki Nanami, she wasn't particularly close to her. And Madoka... no, she had a feeling, Madoka would come back. She's pretty sure she's seen her around in the first place, but she hadn't gotten a chance to talk to her. Maybe it was her imagination?
Of everyone that she's spoken to, no one had really left to leave that big of an impression on her. Though she had definitely spoken to those who she felt sad over, it never had the effect on her that it had on Sollux, or anyone else she knew. But... it wasn't like it didn't take much to make her think about how it would feel.
Basically... how she felt for a while already. Only worse, probably.
It's not long before Ryoko comes back with a tray and two cups, with a bit of sugar close by too in case he wants some. She sets it down and kneels, before pouring Sollux a cup of chamomile tea and setting it in front of him.
"Here. I'm not a tea specialist or anything, but this much I can do for you."
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Now that he's here he doesn't know what to say, he just didn't want to be alone. As pathetic as he felt admitting it, it was better to feel pathetic here with Ryoko than it was to be scared and alone at his hive. He felt as though he owed her an explanation, though he realizes she might feel as though she'd already gotten one. He sighs.
"I ran here. Whenever I go outside I feel like I'm going to die. So I just run now."
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It was getting to be easier for her, but she was trying to push her own bad thoughts out of her head.
"Sorry. Maybe I should've met you at your place first."
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He's sick of talking to the dead. At least, he knows he shouldn't be. It felt wrong to take comfort in words your friend's had never really said. As much as he wanted comfort, he couldn't let himself get it like that. He sets the cup down again. Still not looking at Ryoko.
"...Can I stay here for a while?"
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As if seeing a certain someone look up from the game in their hands to say 'it's okay' would help. It's not the same.
Ryoko just glances down at her tea, awkwardly feeling despondent until he asks the question. That much, she knew she could do.
"Of course you can. My door is always open for friends to stay. I can grab another blanket and try to drum up a bed for you to sleep on."
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"Thanks." he takes a sip of his tea, trying to ignore everything he's feeling. At least here anyone who offered comfort would be real.
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She doesn't really know what to do. She places the tea back onto the table, sighing slightly before reaching forward to slowly... carefully, gingerly as if she were getting ready to touch hot coal, place a hand right on the top of Sollux's head.
"It's okay, really. Sollux... these things take time to heal from. I just want you to take as much time as you need. I'll be here to help, and I'm not going anywhere."
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"You don't know that."
He puts the tea cup down, his hands clasping together in front of him.
"You could be next."
Who would he have left? Maybe it would be better if they left, than his weakness wouldn't bother them.
"What if Madoka doesn't come back?"
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"She... she'll be back. I know it."
As if she's trying to reaffirm it to herself.
"She's... too important to leave. Kyuubey wouldn't let her."