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His gaze darkens as she mentions Kyouko's name. He doesn't hate her as much after everything that's happened. Compared to everything else, his death at her hands even seemed merciful now. Still, he doesn't like her and hearing her name makes him scowl.

"Who cares what she thinks?"

With a sigh, she rests back against the couch, head craned against the back.

"Yeah, you're right."

Not that she didn't feel bothered by it. By what she said at the end. She could hear it just as she went to close the mirror... 'Don't like having your hypocrisy pointed out to you, Asakura?' In the end, they stole her information, and she was the one in the right.

For as much as she didn't want to care about what she thought, that opinion still bothered the hell out of her.

"...when did everything get so terrible? It's been bad... but it's never been this bad."

Edited 2016-09-02 20:41 (UTC)

He doesn't move or answer for a moment when she says that. Her words make him look back on the week, on things he wishes he didn't remember. He knew the exact moment things went from bad to worse even though he wishes he didn't. He hides his face in his knees trying not to get swept up in the memories.The worst part was that he thought it was going to be better here, or if not better, at least not worse.

"I think I'm going insane."

"Mm."

Of course, Sollux had the worst of it, from what she can tell. Whatever happened between him and that girl had to have been really dire, even if she didn't kill him. It was bad enough that it kept him feeling really upset, and in the end... triggered a Nightmare. It had to be bad. Even now, as she gazes at him, he seems beside himself.

"I think we're all feeling like that. But... even if you do, I'll try to keep you from going completely insane. Just... do the same for me, alright?"

He wants to say "yes," that he'll look out for her, but he knew the truth was that he couldn't. He was a failure. Someone like him couldn't be of any use to someone like Ryoko. Even now he was only surviving because of Madoka's strength. He was leaning on her for support, more than a moirail should. He was taking, without giving anything back. He felt awful about it, but still that was all he could really do. He had to try to survive, get by despite what his brain was telling. Even though he'd said "going insane" earlier, Sollux was pretty sure he was already there. He doesn't even understand why Ryoko would ask him to do that. He wasn't strong and he wasn't smart. He didn't have anything.

"...I can't even go outside by myself. How could I possibly help you?"

"Maybe you can pull me out of it."

That's how it had to be, right? As much as she didn't want to say that, if she was on a rampage, someone would have to be able to take her out... and she had to trust someone to do it, and hopefully not... not go too far.

"Time heals all wounds... it'll be scary for a while, but given enough time, you'll be able to help everyone. And... I definitely want your help."

He turns his head, looking at her. She wanted his help. She believed he could get better. As stupid as it feels, he's so grateful to hear those words. It was nice to have someone believe in you, even if you couldn't believe in yourself.

"I'll try. I'll do whatever it takes. I don't want to let anything happen to anyone here."

It's the kind of thing he would normally never say aloud, but getting torn down, getting help from so many others, he felt like all his walls had been torn down. He had no choice, but to be honest, to say what he really feels, even if it's embarrassing as hell. He blushes yellow before hiding his face again.

"Don't tell anybody I said that."

That was her true strength. No, she didn't like using her knife on others and she probably would be completely useless in a fight. But as a person, Ryoko never gave less than 100% when she went to help someone else. She believed, deep deep down, that with the right support from her and everyone else in town, Sollux could still regain his confidence. It wasn't impossible.

That was the most optimistic thing he'd said to date, and Ryoko just beams regardless.

"Your secret's safe with me, Sollux. I promise."

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